Snakes on a Blog

Snakes on a Plane! Snakes on a Plane! There are Goddamn SNAKES on the GODDAMN PLANE!

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Props to the First "Snakes on a Blog"

The first Snakes on A Blog is certainly the must-read site for any S.O.A.P.

We're just humble, excited people who couldn't contain our mutual enthusiasm. But the official Snakes on A Blog is far and away the best clearinghouse for any and all Snakes on A Plane news, fansites, songs, videos, posters, haiku, and other outpourings of excited admiration.

F'rinstance, of course you'll want to check out The most important photoshop ever: Design a "Snakes on a Plane" movie poster on Fark. It's downright wonderful.

Snakes on A Plane -- bumped up to an "R"

Hot new S.O.A.P. news in today's Hollywood Reporter!!!!

They're re-shooting to make the movie even dirtier, more violent, and filled with motherfuckin' CUSS WORDS about snakes.
(By which I mean, they're reshooting with new scenes designed to take the movie from a PG 13 rating to an R).

Aaaaw yeah! And it's all fan-inspired!
Best part of the article:
In any event, "Snakes"-ophiles already were hard at work. Chris Rohan of Bethesda, Md., created an elaborate, R-rated audio trailer that lovingly mocks the title and movie. "It's a genius title," Rohan said. "It's so stupid it's great. It invites satire, but it's something you just love. It's something I can't explain. You either get it or you don't."

The audio bit uses a Jackson sound-alike shouting, "I want these motherfucking snakes off the motherfucking plane!" Soon, the growing legion of fans added their voices as they demanded that that phrase also appear in the movie.

Apparently, the studio got the hint. When Ellis assembled Jackson and others for the recent shoot, the filmmakers added more gore, more death, more nudity, more snakes and more death scenes. And they shot a scene where Jackson does utter the line that fans have demanded.

Those involved with the film said the reshoots weren't prompted by fans but rather by the existing footage that already was a hairline into R territory. Within the studio, the thinking was, "We're already going to get an R, why not go all the way?" But the filmmakers do concede that the Jackson line will be in the movie for the sake of the fans.

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

According to Experts, Poisonous Snakes are the Best Snakes for Killing

The much-anticipated film Snakes on a Plane is the story of an assassin who tries to kill a witness in protective custody by releasing deadly snakes on a plane. Upon hearing this plot, I was incredulous, "do assassins really use boxes of deadly snakes to kill their targets?" According to Ramon Bootierrez, local community assassin and water polo enthusiast, assassins use [boxes of] snakes all the time. "Not only are snakes a powerful weapon against your enemies, they are also loyal friends and pets," said Bootierrez while oiling up for the next polo match. "A gun is cold and lifeless, while a snake is still cold but very life-full."

I then wondered if he had ever tried using other predators as tools of murder. He said that he once used a gaggle of pumas, but unfortunately was allergic to the fur; and a deadly foray into the world of black widows almost cost him his life. "The black widow is a traitorous wench, she is loyal to no one. I found that out the hard way, when she bit me on the nipple and stole my wallet. I was hospitalized for only a couple of days, but my heart would never recover."

As I helped Mr. Bootierrez into his swim trunks, I asked him what the best breeds of snake were for killing. "My top three...OOH YOU'RE PINCHING...sorry, my top three favorite snakes, would be the uhh, Death Adder, beautiful skin, great muscle tone...the Anaconda, but not for planes, they won't fit in the overhead compartment...and probably the Cobra, just for the drama of it all, but once again, if your target plays the lute or flute the cobra is easily tamed. The least effective is the suburban garter snake, which will mostly just cuddle."

So, all you aspiring assassins, think outside the box...OF SNAKES!!!!

Friday, March 17, 2006

"The Title Alone Won Over Jackson"

It's true! Read the article here.

SNAKES ON PEOPLE WHO HAPPEN TO BE SITTING ON A PLANE! gives us an intriguing first look at the wonder that is to be "SNAKES ON A PLANE!"